Kerri vs living in France: 5 Best and Worst things

So to get more of an idea about my living in France experience. I teach English in Primary schools 12 hours a  week, and live with a French family kind of as an Au Pair. I don't do everything in the house but I help out lots, and they give me a room and feed me!

In true "bad news first" style....

The 5 worst things about living in France

1. You get fat - I'm not saying this because the food is amazing (which I find it the most overrated cuisine in the world). I'm saying it because they eat two hot meals a day and bread with everything. I normally eat a sandwich for lunch and my meal for dinner. Except their lunch is their main meal... and then they go eat just as much at tea time. Eh fatty boom boom want another baguetteeeee!!!? 
2. So. Much. Administration - Seriously. You will fill in a million and two pieces of paper, getting told nothing is done until you do that stuff..... then they still do nothing!! But wait weeks to tell you they're gonna do nothing! Now in Britain there's not that much paper work but shit gets done. In Italy there's no paper work and nothing gets done - no effort to get messed around. But paper work to get nothing done?!? It's like they're just distracting you... I'M NOT THAT STUPID! 
3. People trying to speak English - People speaking English isn't a bad thing at all. Though most people here learn English from the age of FIVE, their English still tends to be not that great. And yet when they hear you're not French, they look like the cat's go the cream, rearrange their collar, twiddle their mustache then they say ....... I SPEEKAH ZEEEE ENGLEESH. Oh really? Fabulous... 
4. THEY DON'T DRINK - Coming from a nation of binge drinkers, you've all heard about the British. It's true, we like to get royally fucked up. We also like a couple of beers with the football. Or a glass of wine at Sunday dinner. Everyone loves a drink..... don't they? NOT THE FRENCH. Jeeeezzzz. I've been offered a glass of "vin" with dinner once in the two months I've been here. Gonna be such a lightweight disgrace when I get back to Glasgow. 
5. You will have no ego when you leave - They're all thin. Despite eating twice as much as you at meal time. I'm a normal size girl in the rest of the world, here (and Italy...) I am fat. WTF?! They also do this slyly but they will imply lots and make fuck loads of comments about how they think France is better than your country. Some people are genuinely really nice, but lots of them are closed minded, and listen to stereotypes and don't stop to think that when they find something weird it's a culture thing not me being a weirdo .... 

Other things: teachers can hit the kids at school, everything shuts for the 2 hour lunch and on Sunday... do they ever work?! 

Now lets be positive. 

The 5 best things about living in France

1. It's so dry here - I feel like it never rains. Maybe I grew up in the wrong country, but if it get's to the end of the week and there's hasn't been a single shower it's a MIRACLE. Like seriously bring out the bibles. Here it rains twice in a week and that's torrential weather. Really?! 
2. They let you eat cake - For BREAKFAST. Omnomnom. Not quite up to Sicily where they have ice cream for breakie. BUT it's not unusual for the French at all to have a cake at the breakfast table, or produce a couple of croissant. YUM. 
3. You get 2 hours for lunch - I'm not shitting you. TWO HOURS. You can do so much in that time. Not going to lie sometimes I get bored, and I think there's also positives to having a short lunch. But you actually feel relaxed after a two hour lunch. Also, you need it after eating your main meal... 
4. There's no primary school on Wednesday - how much do I love having hump day off? Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss much!! I got informed by an American friend this summer that hump day is getting over the hump, you know when you get to the middle of the week and you're like errgghhi'm only half way there? I don't get that cause i'm OFFFFFF!! (feel free to hate me!) 
5. I love space - I've been a city kid for the last 3 years. I've still found the green spaces, and managed to run. But I love that here the pavements just seem bigger, and longer and well i'm in the least densely populated region in Europe there loads of nice parks and something called a "countryside" that I can go get fit in! It makes missing the gym bearable haha! 

Other things: I'm speaking french so might pass my degree, some people are genuinely some of the nicest people I've met, and it's so healthy here (it's a really healthy fat...)

Do you live in France? What do you like/dislike? If not, is there anything you'd like to know about it?

Kerri vs Monday 8WGP: Round 1. 0-0

It's a draw!!! 

So one of the girls just came home so that's me done. I had pretty much finished however, so I am no slacker. I'd started to get a tiny sweat on. But I wasn't dying. At all. 

Me doing 0-0 face, with aid of hands.

So I'm calling it NIL-NIL. 

The "leg curls" didn't reallyyyy feel like they were doing anything so i'll research and try to find an exercise to replace them. 

I felt a little on the legs but not lots. Attached  a sports bra to my desk to do "toe pulls". I'll take a photo next time, but I did like that exercise. 

Leg raises are hard. 

Didn't get time to do cycling or cool down... BUT i'm off to run now so didn't reallly see it necessary. Also I never stretch I find it  boring. 

So in conclusion: 

• Not the best/worst work out. 
• Abdominal is my weakest area by a mile.
• Going to add some arm stuff, push up challenge, wall push ups and the plank next time. 
• Only took me 40 minutes, but I think the 75 minutes was a guideline. 
• Next time I won't drink my cup of tea while doing the squats (I'm not even joking...) 
• Going to try keep it up a couple of weeks then review. 
• Did I mention I suck at abdominal stuff??! 

I made it look even harder than this... 

Kerri vs Monday of the 8 week gym program

So I'm waiting for the family I live with to go to work before i'm off to get my sport gear on. Then i'll have a couple of hours to myself, so i'll attack this 8 week gym program before treating myself to a 5k or something.

But I already have a problem. 

"Uh oh" face

I don't understand the program. 

No Joke. 

So, don't worry the program I linked you to is in English, yay! And it is a good well rounded program. It's just the only exercise listed for Monday that I actually know is squats. I also am not actually in a gym. Cycling and stair master are going to be fun..... 

Bring. It. On. 

If I want to climb a mountain i'm going to have bigger problem right? So stair master will just be doing them steppy exercises on the actual stairs for 10 minutes... Cycling can just be lying on my back pretending to cycle. 

And here's some definitions of the other exercises: 

Squats: Where you look like you're going to the toilet but there's not a loo there

Leg extensions : The one where you sit down then straighten your legs lifting the thing up. Gym necessary.

Kerri's alternative: I'll sit on a chair and lift up a book or something... 

Leg curl: Where you lie on your front and kinda curl your leg up on the machine. Gym necessary. 

Kerri's alternative: lie on my bed and curl my legs up? 

Calf raises: Where you have just your toes on a step, and then go up onto your tip-toes! Yay! 

Toe Pulls: Where you get drunk and make out with your foot...... sorry WHAT?! Ok really, attach a band around something. put your foot in it, make it taught then extend your toes back towards you - hold for a second then realease. Keep going til reps done. 

Hyper Extensions: like a backwards sit up but needs exercise. 

Kerri's alternative: do the bird dog exercise. Basically, get on your hands and knees. NOW. Thanks. Ok now bring one arm forwarrd and parallel with the floor, whilst at the same time doing that with the opposite leg.... Awesome! Now alternate! Does the same thing but you can do it at home. 'Mazing. 

Crunches : Sit up but the lower back stays on the floor. Got it? Sweet

Leg Raises: Lie flat on your back. Keep your legs straight and lift them up, and put them down. Now it's written to do 2 sets of 20 reps of this. If I remember right this exercise isn't easy (well, not for us chubbier members of society anyhow)... This one will hurt. 

So there's kinda an idiots guide to which machines to go on in the gym on the Monday - or how you can do it in your own home. 

It's the first day so i'm probably going to suck. BUT I hope by Christmas (4 Mondays time), i'm at least improving. Rome wasn't built in a day right? 

vs Kilimanjaro: Fitness Plan

Despite the fact i'm already partial to a bit of running, I know this mountain is going to be a lot easier if I have  a higher fitness level, and look something like this :

Well that or just do a bit of training first haha.

Now my main problem is that I'll be working then travelling in Kenya for 6/7 weeks before. So i'll need to keep my fitness level up while on the move. However. I do have time now on my hands. As I have until April 30th, which is around 22 weeks.... I also have a half marathon 2 days before so i'll be doing plenty of running for that anyway.

So I researched lots and there was mixed opinions. BUT noone said I needed to be ridiculous with the training regime, though at least being a bit active was recommended by everyone. Despite this i've decided to ignore the people that're like "mehhhh, it's not sooo important" I think they just want money, and are probably sat in a dingy office, in the basement of a Tanzanian building smoking a joint, eating a supersize biggmac and drinking cheap lager in front of a Windows 95 pc. Just saying.

I did however find these 2 training programs:

8 week gym program to be used with 8 week walking program

12 week training program

As I have 22 weeks. Including Christmas in the middle. I'm thinking. I'll loosely follow the 8 week gym program and do my running still instead of the walking.... Though WALKING IS IMPORTANT. As I'll be walking up the mountain - I just want to get the running in while I can.

After Chrimbo though I will begin the 12 week program. It means I will finish early BUT that just means prepared earlier right?!

And in my opinion the 12 week program is a much better program for over all fitness. And incorporates specific hill training into it.

Anyway, i'll keep updating on here run times, amounts of exercises etc. So we can see how (or if..) these are helping fitness.

vs Mt Kilimanjaro: General Plan

I want to climb a mountain. It won't be easy. 

It'll be even less easy when we consider it's my first ever mountain. I don't often hillwalk (though I do run lots so my leg muscles exist..). It's my first ever time at an altitude like that - i'm probably going to get sick as a dog. 

However....... 

I go through with all stupid ideas. 

Meaning this shit is happennniinnnn'. Not only that if I have enough money I've been looking at getting a few day trip out from Nairobi to climb Mount Kenya as a warm up. This could end in me blowing 2 grand on spending 2 weeks sick and no summit photos... or I could be crowned Queen of the world after beating two mountains, as well as finally getting international recognition for being a superhero. 

Isn't she pretty?

Despite being a superhero, I know there's a lot to plan. So here's what I need before I try to attempt a mountain: 

1. Fitness Plan (and well actually doing it...) 
2. Gear to take with me on the mountain. 
3. Talk to a doctor (for my fitness, not the state of my mental being..) 
4. Choose a route (or at least have an idea)

If I think of other stuff I'll add it. Can you think of anything I need to add? Any tips? Anybody attempted Mt Kenya or Mt Kilimanjaro before? 

Also bear in mind it's now November and I won't be leaving Europe until April 2013...:) And another thing to bear in mind.... 

If that beer belly, middle aged, moaner of a man Chris Moyles can climb this then I sure as hell bloody can. 

Welcome earthling!

Your warning is being called earthling... 

You're still here? Awesome! 

Ok so you can read on the "Who is Kerri?" page a little bit about who I am! So I won't repeat myself.... 

But I thought I'd get the awkward first post out the way - I can blow it up like an awkward balloon and let it go into the wind!! 

Feels better already right?! 

Anyway, there won't always be odd posts like this on here - but I SUCK at saying "hello" and "goodbye". Though - the bit in the middle I love!! Human interaction is my favourite! This means feel free to talk to me, post comments, ask me questions about places I've been, places i'm going to, travelling alone or just ridiculous stuff like whether i'd rather do a tequila body shot off Ashton Kutcher or Josh Holloways chest... 

DON'T BE AFRAID to post comments, yup I don't know you and you might feel like your comments / questions are silly but i'm posting this shit on the internet.... I've already bored the people I know with it. AND all the people in the local pub. I need random people to talk to me about it!!! 

Anyhow. That's me for the minute. So here's a picture of me not only holding the awkward balloon, but looking at it too! Who feels silly now eh?!